melrozevamp:

boxlunches:

camerapits:

tarasaur:

OMG princess mononoke killed it

I am terrified

LOOK AT THAT PISSED POCA PADDLING

jeongsung
. You NEED TO SEE THIS

god-damn-demetria:

dirtyjanoskiansimagines:

still-fighting:

mirandarph:

The Trevor Project

1-866-488-7386

Stop re-blogging One Direction and re-blog this shit. 

image

It doesn’t matter which kind of blog you are, this deserves to be reblogged

Ellen’s part always gets me

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORYSo a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

alex-gaskarths-dick:

slendyrunawaywithme:

ashleycostellosbuttblog:

maxxinemassacree:

thebuttbender:

kelseykuntagious:

benadickted:

anti-s0cial:

thebuttbender:

benadickted:

kelseykuntagious:

nothing is worse than having your period at a concert u g h

fall out blood

Pierce the Ovaries

Red Day

my chemical hormones

TOO SOON

Panic at the Uterus

Bring me the tampons

this post is a curse 

all time flow

BLOOD ON THE DANCE FLOOR

zapidos:

My little brother and I were swimming and my dad walked out and said “it’s trash day tomorrow you know what that means” and my brother looked at me dead in the eyes and said “it’s time for you to go.”

slobberbubble:

failedhellos:

mysteampunkheart:

lam681:

winmu:

scullylovesqueequeg:

tamtoee:

yeahmicah:

thegirlinthesea:

spookydatrump:

note-inthepages:

Accurate post is accurate.

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

Lame

For those in retail.

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid ****.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

That last bit of commentary though.

when I worked at McDonald’s they taught us that 99% of customer complaints are legitimate.legitimate bullshit maybe.

slobberbubble:

failedhellos:

mysteampunkheart:

lam681:

winmu:

scullylovesqueequeg:

tamtoee:

yeahmicah:

thegirlinthesea:

spookydatrump:

note-inthepages:

Accurate post is accurate.

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

Lame

For those in retail.

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).
Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid ****.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

That last bit of commentary though.

when I worked at McDonald’s they taught us that 99% of customer complaints are legitimate.
legitimate bullshit maybe.

dooleysqueen:

norulesnobras:

basedhiyoko:

yoursexcrazedsub:

1.) The girl practiced safe sex and used condoms. SMART. AS. FUCK.
2.) I’ve seen this reblogged with notes calling her a “whore” and a “skank”. Fuck that noise. Over half the girls on tumblr will, or have, sucked the dick of a guy they just met, only hung out with a few times, or barely know, and then stress because he hasn’t called them back or he’s treating them like shit. Meanwhile the same girls go to work at a minimum wage job where they don’t even make $920 in 3 months, much less a day. 
Good for this chick. She’s on her hustle and I ain’t mad at her. Make that money, girl!

you go girl
suck them dicks
achieve your dreams

are we going to ignore that these guys were willing to pay $460 just to have pleasure? i might not know a lot about how this business goes down but dayum she must have done a good job

dooleysqueen:

norulesnobras:

basedhiyoko:

yoursexcrazedsub:

1.) The girl practiced safe sex and used condoms. SMART. AS. FUCK.

2.) I’ve seen this reblogged with notes calling her a “whore” and a “skank”. Fuck that noise. Over half the girls on tumblr will, or have, sucked the dick of a guy they just met, only hung out with a few times, or barely know, and then stress because he hasn’t called them back or he’s treating them like shit. Meanwhile the same girls go to work at a minimum wage job where they don’t even make $920 in 3 months, much less a day. 

Good for this chick. She’s on her hustle and I ain’t mad at her. Make that money, girl!

you go girl

suck them dicks

achieve your dreams

are we going to ignore that these guys were willing to pay $460 just to have pleasure? i might not know a lot about how this business goes down but dayum she must have done a good job

ch4d:

sia get out of my house

Help. I have done it. Again

ch4d:

sia get out of my house

Help. I have done it. Again

miss-eevee:

rubbermaddox:

Ilustrations by the incredible Carol Rossetti check her out and follow her here! http://carolrossettidesign.tumblr.com/

i was not ready for the last one